Here are some of my poems from my debut poetry book "written by a HEAVY HEART" which you can find here .
The book includes 200 pages of poems written straight from a heavy heart. It explores themes of abuse, toxic relationships, violence, body image, and love in all its forms, including finding and losing love. A journey about growth and healing, finding a home within yourself, and becoming a home for others.
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If you would come
an inch closer
you could hear
the beat of my heart
singing over and over
I'm yours, I'm yours, I'm yours .
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We stare at each other
I start to smile
and you whisper what
after a while
I want to say
everything
but I shake my head
and answer nothing instead.
Because everything sounds like a lot.
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In the morning
when the sun peeks out
from behind the curtain
and finds my face
that's how it feels
when you look at me
like I'm sleeping
and you tickle my nose
and I squeeze my eyes
because I'm not used to life being that bright
you scare away the darkness
put a spot of light on me
and I feel like an animal
after hibernation
famished
thirsty
hungry for life.
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I loved sleeping alone
before I knew the safety of your bed
you wake me up so softly
I forget the war in my head.
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Every time I force myself to ignore
the bad of us
I ignore
the part of me that was hurt
and every time I force myself
to remember his good parts only
it feels like I'm forgetting
a part of myself.
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All along
I thought it all went wrong
because of too much love
I thought that was
why I would've died myself to death for him
why I watered his plants and let my garden rot
why I gave him everything of me without a second thought
but I didn't love him too much
I just don't love myself enough.
There's no such thing as too much love.
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He's gone
and I won't forget him
he taught me how to swim
by throwing me into cold water
smiling while I almost drowned
but I didn't
even though I hit the ground.
I thought he left me with nothing
but I found parts of him
in my heart and home
that I can't throw out;
like furniture full of memories
of all the days
he made me smile
in so many ways
when he took me out for dinner
and didn't expect me to be thinner
memories of all the nights
we didn't fight
when he loved me softly
and couldn't stop staring at me.
I think it's okay
that these parts of him stay
because finding peace
includes not forcing leftover love to leave.
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